Monster of the Day: Pennywise/IT

Pennywise is an ancient extradimensional being, who is like the Satan in Stephen King's universe. He feeds on fear, souls, and children. He takes the form of a dancing clown, mostly when hunting. He aslo takes the form of everyone's fears: a werewolf from a horror movie, a crab-like giant spider, abusive relatives, etc. He has no true form, and has a light emiting from his "body" called "dead lights", which can drive a person insane or kill them. He is only seen by those who believe in him, and whoever leaves the town he resides in (Derry, Maine) forget about him (explained further in the book). This all sounds like a cool idea. Too bad it's executed poorly. Let's talk about the movie.

Stephen King's IT:
This movie is just funny. The plot's boring and ludicrous: a few outcast kids called "the Losers Club" are being hunted and stalked by an ancient demon disguised as a clown. They attack it and wound it, but 30 years later, the creature, dubbed "It" because it has no true form, rises again. This prompts the no grown-up teens to return to finish the job. The cast are terrible, except for the kids, who do an okay job, and the main star of the film is without a doubt Tim Curry (of Rocky Horror) as Pennywise/It. He over-acts, chews scenery, and has the time of his life playing the somewhat funny clown. The lines of the main cast are delivered like a fucking soap opera. It's just laughable. There's a scene in a library when Tim Curry just goes off an a hilarious, nonsensical rant in the middle of the library, and everyone just tries to ignore him. It's funny. The special effects are what you'd expect from a TV movie, low grade. They use stop-motion that looks like something out of Pee-Wee's Playhouse, they project Tim Curry's face onto a wall as a "floating spectre", they use dissolves, and use cheap sets that Lost in Space would be proud of. The script is bad, the story over-complicated but under-explained, the effects like something out of a student film, the acting heinous (except from the kids and Curry of course), and the run-time way too long at over 3 hours. Don't get me wrong, I love long movies. Lawrence of Arabia, Lord of the Rings, Ben-Hur, The Ten Commandments, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, Kill Bill, and The Great Escape are among my favorite films. But this movie, unlike the previously mentioned, doesn't keep your attention or make you care about the characters enough to sit through it. Stephen King, if by some weird chance you read this, stick to drama or supernatural thrillers, it's actually your best work, even though your known for horror. Your horror stories, I'm sorry, they just get too silly or out-there or boring and repetitive to keep me, and many other people's interest. Go write something similar to Shawshank, Running Man, Green Mile, or Misery. (By the way, if you're reading this, your Dark Tower stuff, your Bachman books, and The Shining, Pet Sematary and your short stories are brilliant.) Other than that, if your looking for a "so bad it's good movie" or something dumb and cheesy to laugh at, gather some friends and watch Stephen King's IT. 3.5/5 stars (in a cheesiness factor).