Tales from the Crypt retrospective part I: Top Ten Episodes

Today I start the first part of my Tales from the Crypt retrospective, I'm sorry this is so delayed, but I was busy with my birthday and other things over the weekend. Also, check out part I of my Twilight Zone retrospective on mattcottermovies.blogspot.com, part II of these series will come out next weekend. (Also check out Cinemassacre.com's top 10 episodes list) Based on the infamous EC comics of the 50's, this HBO show aired uncensored, and most episodes had over-the-top gore, and usually revolved around bad people getting gruesome punishments, and if not, usually involved something creepy or surreal. Although named after the EC comic book Tales from the Crypt, many stories were taken from the other EC comic books. Also, this was not the first time this was done, there was a 1972 British anthology film based on the comics, and George Romero's Creepshow was a funny/creepy homage to the comics. Both of those were good, as was this show. But this had twice the gore and talent. The producers include Joel Silver and Robert Zemeckis (who featured as a guest director), and each episode had celebrity directors, cameos, and guest stars. So, let me go through the top 10 of my favorite episodes.

10. Television Terror- Morton Downey Jr. plays an asshole host of a true crime show, who is doing his biggest show ever, the house of an elderly woman who let old men stay at her home, only to butcher them. He goes into the house with his television crew, but when creepy things start to happen, the host discovers they are not alone. The suspense in this episode is pretty good, and there are some creepy moments. You at first want the host dead, but near the end, you feel bad for him.

9. The Swithc- Directed by Arnold Schwarzenegger, this episode is great. A rich, elderly bachelor wants to get with this young girl, but she doesn't like him because of his body. He begins to switch pieces of his body with a younger man, via a mad science operation. The twist ending is great, and the episode is so over-the-top and goofy, you have to love it.

8. Three's A Crowd- A young couple take a vacation to their friend's cabin. Then, the wife and the friend begin to spend far too much time with each other, and then the husband thinks they're having an affair. He decides they deserve to die. The twist ending is so sick and so horrible, this episode gets a spot on the list.

7. The Third Pig- The only animated episode, which is far better than the cartoon Tales from the Cryptkeeper. In Season 7, all episodes were shit. Then, this sick, gross re-telling of the Three Little Pigs (with a drunken wolf, a perverted group of pigs, and a franken-pig) blows onto the scene and mind-fucks the viewer. One of the few episodes played completely for laughs.

6.  The New Arrival- David Warner (Tron) plays a radio psychiatrist for children who's ratings are dipping. In an attempt to boost them, he visits the home of the woman from Poltergeist, and finds her daughter is quite disruptive, and psychotic. This episode is creepy, mysterious, and suspenseful, and keeps you guessing until the end. It's a truly great episode, but is often forgotten.

5. None But the Lonely Heart- Directed by Tom Hanks, this episode follows a con artist who woos and marries elderly women for their money, then murders them, gains their inheritance, and then moves on to the next con. He does this to one more woman, but then, this  come to bite him in the ass. A suspenseful episode with a psychotic main character, and a great, gruesome ending.

4. Tie: Til Death, and Death of Some Salesman- The first follows a man who woos a rich woman with a voodoo potion, only for her to die. But, the potion makes sure that she's his, in life AND in death. Next, a sleazy salesman is kidnapped by a deformed, backwoods family (all played in a triple role by Tim Curry, who was nominated for an Emmy for this role) who hates salesman for no good reason. Both are suspenseful, and have creepy and gruesome endings.

3. Split Personality- Joe Pesci plays an asshole con man who tricks two reclusive, rich, and beautiful twins into dating him by pretending he has a twin brother. But, these women are not to be double-crossed. Great episode, with a funny asshole character, and a great ending.

2. Yellow-  In WWI, a s young soldier, who was forced into the army by his asshole general father, gets his fellow soldiers killed because he was a coward in the line of duty. This episode contains no elements of the supernatural or anything horror, it's the only episode that's an hour long, it's directed by Robert Zemeckis, and is a war-drama. An oddball episode that proves one of the best in the series. A good twist ending though.The general is played by Kirk Douglas, whose son Eric Douglas stars as his son in the episode.

1. Strung Along- An old puppeteer begins training a young animatronics pioneer in the ways of marionette puppeteering. But, his young wife does not want the other guy around, and this causes a rift and conflict in the old guy's life. His puppet Cocoa begins to talk to him, and this reveals a dark secret about the puppet. A good episode, with suspense, good build-up, and has a creepy ending.

Next: Part II!